4 KEYS for MEN to be BETTER in your relationship

To you men, my brothers out there and those who want more in your relationships or are just curious on how you can become better in your relationships. I wanted to share 4 keys for men to become better in your relationships. This topic is something that I have dived deep into over the last few years and I’m passionate about because I learned through some pain that relationships are where we have the most meaning in our lives. It's because we share more emotion with our intimate partners and our spouses than with anybody else and when we get this area right, everything is easy, everything's better in life and when we get it wrong it's very, very painful. So, I wanted to share with you four keys that you can take into your relationship or marriage - or even if you aren't in a relationship or marriage; for your next one, this is really going to help. THE FIRST ONE, IS BE PATIENT. Now, if you're looking to evolve, if you're looking to become better as a man and be a better partner then obviously, you need to be up skilling yourself. You need to be knowing what the fuck you need to be knowing in your relationship to become a better man; but have patience with that process. Not to think that everything will miraculously turn around in a matter of days, weeks or even months. If you've had some pain there, and if you've had some problems and issues in your relationships... Firstly, I honour you for stepping up and wanting to change it. Secondly, be patient with yourself. Just like any other area, for example if you're doing well financially, it's taken time. If you're doing well in your health and your energy levels, it's taken time. If you're doing well in your business and career, it's taken time. This is no different. The rules still apply here in relationship and marriage... It takes time, and you're going to fuck up, and you're going to screw up. When you do, get back up and be patient with yourself; that is the first key. THE SECOND KEY TO BE BETTER IN YOUR RELATIONSHIPS IS TO GET INTO YOUR HEART, NOT YOUR HEAD. Most of us men stay in our heads and think logically; we're thinking logically and we want to fix the problems in our relationships and with our women. However, it's quite the opposite. When it comes to relationships the rules don't apply the same way it does potentially in business or in your health. When you get into your head, you're dead, so you need to get into your heart. You honestly do, and this is one that took me quite a while to get but once I did and the more I got into my heart; the better my relationship got, the better I felt about myself and I became a better person. So, tap into your heart. Stop being such a pussy and over thinking things all the fucking time. Get into your heart and really feel what's going on. Now, this is easier said than done; this is a muscle that's got to be developed over time but that's the place. A good way to think about it is you've got to surrender a bit, not always be so hard, soften a little bit. Step more into your femininity, not be so masculine and hard edged - step more into your heart. So, when you're in your head, you're dead; start with your heart, that's key number two. THE THIRD KEY TO BE BETTER IN RELATIONSHIPS AS A MAN IS TO PRACTICE A.R.P. This is a fucking game changer. If you only did this and just focused on this as a man in your relationships, your relationship or marriage would absolutely transform. A stands for: Give your woman more Attention. Attention; the feminine and women need to feel special, needed and wanted. If you're not consistently giving them attention, you're dead in the water. Now, that is daily attention. So, ask yourselves, "How can I be showing my woman more attention?" The second part of A.R.P, is Reassurance. The feminine needs reassurance and they require it all the time. Reassurance means, rather than framing things up in our mind as we do as masculine men, that if there's a problem, a complaint, they're whinging, they're nagging that they just need reassurance. So, reassure the feminine and your woman more often. And the third, is Presence. Be there. Be present for your woman without the T.V. on, without your phone, without reading something, without looking off into the distance; whatever it is, be there, listen and feel. If you can do that as a man and practice A.R.P... game changer, fucking game changer. The times that I’ve practiced A.R.P. in my relationship, things have been beautiful. The things that I've lost, lost the boat there; I haven't given enough attention, there's little reassurance, and my presence isn't there resulting in problems. THE FOURTH KEY AND WHAT I’M GOING TO FINISH OFF ON HERE IS: BE FUCKING HONEST. I know you're not dishonest if you're reading this, but we can always be more honest. As a strong masculine man, it's your role to be fucking honest. Honest with yourself, and with the woman that you supposedly love more than anything. If you're having problems, or you've had problems or issues, then part of it is you're not being honest to the level that she wants. Now, it's not just about the level that she wants, but it's also about the level that you expect of yourself. If you aren't telling yourself the little things, or the big things, then how the fuck are you going to tell her? So, be honest to yourself as a man, step into your strength, and then communicate that with her. The shit that you don't really want to say, or doesn't mean much, say it. The shit that you've been holding and pushing down, say it. The more that you can step into your courage, grow balls, and be fucking honest; the better your relationship will be. Even though – and I know what you're thinking - that no, she doesn't need to know that or it doesn't mean anything. Wrong strategy. If you want to have a truly extraordinary relationship or marriage, and I’ve learned this, again, through pain, is be more honest and start over communicating. So, I hope this has served you; four keys for men to be better in your relationships. If this has inspired, and if maybe you know a brother out there who could really do with hearing this message, then share it; like this post, much gratitude and I appreciate you reading this far. As always, It's your time to step into your strength and to be the best man you can be. By Tim Neal Source:https://www.facebook.com/timnealcoach/posts/1294433160626055:0

7 Reasons Why Spending Money on Experiences Makes Us Happier Than Buying Stuff

That fancy car in your driveway probably doesn't make you smile as often as remembering your honeymoon.

by John Rampton

Because they’re now the largest age demographic, I spend a lot of time researching and discussing millennials. What I’ve found most interesting about this demographic is how they prefer to spend their money on experiences over stuff.

Millennials "aren't spending our money on cars, TVs and watches," Taylor Smith, CEO and co-founder of Blueboard, told CNBC. "We're renting scooters and touring Vietnam, rocking out at music festivals, or hiking Machu Picchu."

This statement was backed-up by a study conducted by the Harris Group that found out that 72 percent of millennials prefer to spend more money on experiences than on material things.

The thing is, this isn’t exactly limited to millennials.

Researchers have been studying how people could allocate their money to make themselves happier. The assumption had been that spending money on material possessions would increase happiness because possessions last longer than an experience. A 20-year study by Dr. Thomas Gilovich, a psychology professor at Cornell University, found the opposite is true.

Dr. Gilovich is just one of several researchers who believe in the the Easterlin Paradox. This phenomenon simply states that after our basic needs have been met, money will only increase happiness to a certain point for the following reasons:

1. Happiness over material items quickly fades.

“One of the enemies of happiness is adaptation,” says Dr. Gilovich. “We buy things to make us happy, and we succeed. But only for a while. New things are exciting to us at first, but then we adapt to them.”

Psychologists call this "hedonic adaptation." In other words, the excitement of that new car, iPhone or furniture set will quickly fade into the background as they become a part of our daily lives. Experiences, like traveling, attending an art exhibit or trying a new restaurant become a part of our identity, which brings us greater satisfaction.

“Our experiences are a bigger part of ourselves than our material goods,” says Gilovich. “You can really like your material stuff. You can even think that part of your identity is connected to those things, but nonetheless they remain separate from you. In contrast, your experiences really are part of you. We are the sum total of our experiences.”

2. Experiences define your purpose and passions.

Your daily activities should be guided and influenced by your purpose and your passions, not material possessions.

Think of it this way. Let’s say that your favorite musician of all-time is Bruce Springsteen. Even though you have all of his albums, and some other items like shirts or posters, do all of those possessions top seeing The Boss in concert? Probably not. In fact, if someone offered you a front-row ticket in exchange for all of your Bruce memorabilia, you would probably take them up on that offer in a heartbeat.

3. Possessions don’t contribute to social relationships.

“We consume experiences directly with other people,” says Gilovich. “And after they’re gone, they’re part of the stories that we tell to one another.”

Do you bond more with other people when discussing material possessions or experiences? Think of Bruce again. When you run into a fellow fan, you have a certain bond and connection. You can talk about his music, the concerts you’ve attended and how much his music has positively impacted your life. That seems like a more in-depth and interesting conversation that discussing your cars, gadgets, wardrobe or even your Boss souveniers, right?

Social relationship expert John Hall, author of  the book Top of Mind, recently told me "Relationships are like ketchup -- only you can figure out if you need to have it on your burger or not." We can all relate to wanting or not wanting this.

4. Moments are more memorable.

While experiences are designed to be fleeting, they provide high level of arousal and memorability thanks to anticipation. Again, let’s revisit The Boss.

You hear he’s coming to town, so you mark your calendar not only for the date of the show, but also when tickets go on sale. You’re anticipating purchasing tickets and then attending a show after you’ve secured your tickets. Going to this show is an entire experience, not just a singular moment.

5. Experiences introduce you to a whole new world.

Unlike stuff, experiences introduce you to new perspectives, life lessons and the importance of gratitude. Take traveling, for example. If you live in New York City and travel to West Virginia, you may realize the pros and cons of living in the Big Apple. Even though there’s culture, public transportation and plenty to do, that weekend trip south made you appreciate nature, the quiet and the beauty of clear, starry nights.

You may realize and come to understand cultural differences. Even if you don’t agree with these points-of-view, at least you’ve walked away learning how to be more thoughtful, compassionate, humble, or grateful.

6. Stuffocation.

Do you have a garage full of stuff? That build-up of junk that you’ll never use can actually do harm to your mental health. This is because when our homes are filled with junk and clutter it increases our levels of stress.

7. It’s no fun keeping up with Joneses.

“The tendency of keeping up with the Joneses tends to be more pronounced for material goods than for experiential purchases,” says Gilovich. This is because, according to research from Ryan Howell and Graham Hill, it’s easier to feature-compare material goods than experiences.

“It certainly bothers us if we’re on a vacation and see people staying in a better hotel or flying first class. But it doesn’t produce as much envy as when we’re outgunned on material goods.”

In other words, spending money on experiences can decrease this envious behavior, which means that we’ll be healthier and happier in the end.

What makes you more happy? Money or experiences?

Source: https://www.entrepreneur.com/article/294163

11 Strategies for Managing Stress

Evaluate your stressors to better cope.

John H. Ostdick  

    

The root of stress management is realizing stress is information that we can examine and use, and the first step in understanding that data is becoming mindful of our stress and its impact upon us, says Kathleen Hall, founder of The Stress Institute in Atlanta.

While the subtleties may vary in stress management sources’ tips on how to manage stress, there are a number of constants. The following covers some of the universal ground, and a few wild cards.

1. If you can’t avoid a stressful situation, try to alter it.

Often, this involves changing the way you communicate and operate in your daily life. Express your feelings instead of bottling them up. Be willing to compromise but be more assertive. Manage your time better. 

2. If you can’t change the stressor, change yourself.

Reframe problems. Try to view stressful situations from a more positive perspective. Look at the big picture. Take perspective of the stressful situation. Focus on the positive; this simple strategy can help you keep things in perspective.

3. Take a break from a stressor.

Even 20 minutes of self-care is helpful.

It may seem difficult to get away from a big work project, a crying baby, or a growing credit card bill, but when you give yourself permission to step away from it you can gain a new perspective and feel less overwhelmed. It’s important to not avoid your stress (those bills have to be paid sometime), but even 20 minutes of self-care is helpful.

4. Breathing is the foundation to de-stress and heal.

Our normal shallow breathing starves the body and brain of oxygen, which affects the immune and cardiopulmonary systems. Develop the practice of taking several deep diaphragmatic breaths in a tense moment; it clears the mind, body, and soul.

5. Scientific research supports the practice that quieting the mind, body, and soul offers great health benefits.

Find a quiet place, get comfortable, focus on a one- to five-word phrase you fancy and repeat it over and over. Take deep diaphragmatic breaths, in and out, in and out. You may want to set a timer in the beginning for 10 minutes so you won’t worry about time. The practice sends healing hormones into your body for relaxation and health.

6. Be aware of your unhealthy coping methods to dealing with stress.

Avoid those unhealthy coping mechanisms from the start.

Turning to food, alcohol or drugs often just turns one set of problems into another that can balloon out of control. It’s better to avoid those unhealthy coping mechanisms from the start, and find good ways to keep your stress under control.

7. The practice of journaling has health benefits.

Journaling reduces stress by removing the worry and thoughts racing over and over in your mind. You move these worries, concerns, hopes or dreams out of your body onto the paper.

8. Affirmations can affect our health.

Research indicates every thought and emotion creates a chemical release into our bodies, which affect our mental, physical and spiritual health and well-being. Negative self-talk can be damaging; giving positive messages wards this damage off. 

9. Friendships are strong indicators of mental, physical and spiritual health.

Friendship is not a luxury, but is essential to work-life balance and your health. Studies show that isolation decreases immune functioning and increases mortality risk.

10. Exercise regularly, sleep, and eat a healthy diet.

Well-nourished bodies are better prepared to cope with stress.

Physical activity plays a key role in reducing and preventing the effects of stress. Make time for at least 30 minutes of exercise, three times per week. Aerobic exercise does wonders for releasing pent-up stress and tension. Well-nourished bodies are better prepared to cope with stress. Start your day right with breakfast, and keep your energy up and your mind clear with balanced, nutritious meals throughout the day. Reduce caffeine and sugar. Get enough sleep. Adequate sleep fuels your mind, as well as your body. Feeling tired will increase your stress because it may cause you to think irrationally.

11. Heighten your awareness of the moment by focusing intently on an object.

Notice a pencil’s shape, color, weight and feel. Or slowly savor a raisin or a piece of chocolate. Mindfulness leads to relaxation. Realize that managing stress is not a one-size-fits-all proposition. Everyone is different, and reacts to stress differently.

Source: http://www.success.com/article/11-strategies-for-managing-stress?utm_source=Facebook&utm_medium=Social&utm_campaign=Post

Tony Robbins 7 Simple Steps to Financial Freedom - Lewis Howes

How to Make More Money (Meaningfully)

6 Reasons Why Motivational Books Can Be Your Best Friend for Life

by Rachel Oliver  

Travel every corner of the world, witness the rising and setting sun, feel loss, love, loyalty, and know that there is always someone to hold your back! That’s what reading a book feels like. They say you are never alone when you have a book. They also say that a book is the best friend you can have. And, they are right. Among the many blessings and gifts of mankind, books rank very high. Life is beautiful, but can any of us say it is easy? And why should it be so?

How do you experience that pure nugget of happiness without seeing the storm and darkness? How do you feel the gratitude when you have not experienced loss and bereavement? How do you celebrate success , if you haven’t fallen? To live life in all its hues , it’s important to face failures and fall once in awhile, so that we can get up to brighter sunshines, and aspire for greatness and successes.

But what happens when you can’t get yourself to pick up the pieces and start over, when you can see no light at the end of the tunnel, and when you need an external force, a push to put you back in the fifth gear of life? Immerse yourself in motivational books. These will transform your life and thought processes.

Here are six reasons why motivational books should be your best friend:

1. It Will Teach You to Live in the Now

Sometimes, we get so caught up in the mundaneness of life, and the demands of our future, that we forget to enjoy the present. Reading a motivational book, will remedy the situation immediately. Dwelling over the past won’t give it back to us. And worrying about the future will only add to our anxieties and powerlessness.

All we have that we can call ours is the present. Browsing through the pages of most motivational books will reassert this reality for you. Life is in the now. Live it, love, laugh, dream, argue, strive. Make every second of your present count. Let your book lead you to become that person who adds meaning and color to every moment in the present.

“Anyone who says they have only one life to live must not know how to read a book.”

2. It Will Get You Out of the Mental Rut

The monotony of daily life lands most of us in a mental rut, where we put up a lid on our creativity and imagination. It’s sad but true that you need a motivator to stop being a robot and start thinking again. Let that wild mind go to different places and whip up different ideas. Nothing can be a better call-to-action for your passive mind than a motivational book. It will stimulate you to think, visualize, act, and implement.

3. It Will Remind You That You Create Your Own Destiny

So, we have spoken how a motivational book helps you get out of the mental rut. Consequently, it all makes you believe and realize that you and only you are responsible for your life. It convinces you and makes you take control of your own destiny. Only someone who cares for you very deeply can influence you to never feel like a victim or powerless, and go out there and make all your dreams come true. Your books will empower you, and re-instill faith and confidence in you.

4. It Will Teach You To Understand People Better and Empathize

Books are those treasure troves that give you insight into feelings, emotions, and nuances of human relationship. Effective and nurturing relationships are the main elements of a fulfilling life.Motivational books teach us how to seal the deal when it comes to relationships and people. From developing a better understanding of people and why they do so, to being able to forgive, and say no when needed, motivational books equip you to have lasting and meaningful relationships.

5. It Will Strengthen You When You Are Feeling Weak and Defeated

There cannot be better pick-me-ups than books. No ice-cream, feel-good movie, or retail therapy can make you feel more full of courage and optimism than a book. Turning those pages will infuse in you hope, and strength to take action.

When you are down in the dumps, you need someone to listen to you, without judging and fill you with words of wisdom and motivation, that reasserts your self-worth and confidence. A book through its bevy of carefully selected words, or a protagonist who despite all odds and obstacles never gives up and emerges to strive and succeed is the best form of motivation we humans needs to see. The book becomes a testament to the indomitability and triumph of the human spirit, and coaxes us to take action and change the course of events in our favor.

“If we encounter a man of rare intellect, we should ask him what books he reads.” – Ralph Waldo Emerson

6. It Will Never Let You Feel Lonely

As humans, struggle, depression and anxiety is inevitable. In such states of melancholy, we often move towards isolation. Anyone who has ever felt lonely, will tell you that it is not a good feeling. With a motivational book by your side, you will never feel lonely. Going through the pages, you will feel like you have a friend who understands you, listens to you, and gradually, but definitely, eases your anxiety and steers you towards peace and comfort.

In the mesh of the words and lines, you will find a friend and embark on a journey of self-discovery. Invest in motivational books because, somewhere between the bookmarks and folded corners, smell of the pages, and handwritten notes, you will also find your true self.

What is your favorite book that you’ve read and why? Leave your thoughts below!

Source: https://addicted2success.com/life/6-reasons-why-motivational-books-can-be-your-best-friend-for-life/

What Does Success Really Mean to You?

Alex Jasin

 

Before you can pursue success, you need to understand what it is and what it isn’t.

We all want success. We want to be successful and feel successful. We chase money, fame, power, education, relationships and a thousand other things without ever stopping to ask one essential question: What, actually, is success?

Few people pause to consider what it truly means to achieve success in their own lives. As Jim Rohn said, “If you don’t design your own life plan, chances are you’ll fall into someone else’s plan. And guess what they have planned for you? Not much.”

If we don’t answer this question, we can end up climbing the wrong ladder and pursue someone else’s version of success. We get to the top only to discover we climbed the wrong mountain. We achieve our goals only to realize they were the wrong ones. It’s a disaster few people are able to recover from.

In Office Space, Michael Gibbons says to his doctor, “So I was sitting in my cubicle today, and I realized, ever since I started working, every single day of my life has been worse than the day before it. So that means that every single day that you see me, that’s on the worst day of my life.”

How do we avoid a similar fate?

Those who have achieved the greatest amounts of actual success are those who are crystal clear on what it means to reach the top, for them. If we want to follow in their steps, we must achieve equal clarity.

What Success Isn’t

Before we can pursue success, we need to understand what success isn’t. If you spend just a few minutes on social media, you’ll realize how many people hold a very narrow definition of success. They think it’s about building wealth, having the perfect relationship, launching a billion-dollar business or amassing a large social media following. And a lot of times, they attach famous people to their image of success.

None of these things or people is wrong, but being like them doesn’t necessarily make you successful. Many people have fought and struggled to the top only to feel miserable and burned out once they get there. They’re unhappy because they pursued the wrong definition of success—one that didn’t match their values.

Throughout childhood and early adulthood, we learn various ideas of success from our parents, teachers and friends. Everyone has their own agenda and idea of who and what we should be. Although it’s OK to value the opinions and hopes of others, we shouldn’t necessarily adopt them as our own. No one can impose their version of success on us. No one can tell us what it means to live the good life.

It’s easy to assume that success means obtaining a specific object, such as a job or social status, and to believe that if we get that thing, we’ll be successful. But some of the greatest successes resulted from the worst failures. Winston Churchill said, “Success is not final, failure is not fatal. It is the courage to continue that counts.”

For example, before becoming a U.S. president, Abraham Lincoln…

…was defeated for the State Legislature.
…failed in business.
…was defeated for Speaker of the House.
…was defeated for Congress.
…was defeated for the U.S. Senate.
…was defeated for nomination as vice president.
…was defeated again for the U.S. Senate.

If we rest our definition of success on one or two achievements, there’s a good chance we’ll be disappointed.

What Success Is

We must set our goals, objectives and trajectories based on what we desire, not what someone else wants for us.

Some people find that helping people brings them the most joy, and therefore success looks like a life given to others. Some realize that building a business or product brings them happiness. Some prefer isolation and others prefer constant activity.

The simple yet profound truth is that what makes me happy doesn’t make someone else happy, and vice versa. My vision of success probably looks nothing like yours, and that’s how it should be.

If we fail to define success for ourselves and try to pursue someone else’s path, we’ll end up frustrated, unhappy and ultimately feeling deeply unsuccessful. Bruce Lee said, “Always be yourself, express yourself, have faith in yourself; do not go out and look for a successful personality and duplicate it.”

The path to success begins by asking yourself, What makes me happy?

It’s also essential to understand that in many ways, we already are successful. If we assume that we are failures until we reach a specific goal, we will never be happy. We have to recognize all we have already accomplished.

Ask yourself:

• Where have I already seen success in my life?
• How can I continue building on that success?
• What lessons have I learned from those successes?
• What have I learned about myself from those areas?

Success is both a goal and a journey. When we reach certain milestones, that is an element of success. But we don’t stop there. We push higher and harder, striving for more and to bet better.

Tony Robbins says, “The path to success is to take massive, determined action.” But how do we find our path? What steps do we take to achieve true success?

We must be able to clearly answer several laser-specific questions:

• What truly matters to me?
• What are the things that set me on fire with passion?
• What do I want to make of my life?
• What lifestyle do I want to achieve?
• Who do I want to be?
• What do I want people to say about me after I die?

The answers to these questions must be ultra-specific. It’s not enough to say, What really matters to me is happiness. If you can’t see clearly, you won’t really know what that means, or what you’re doing or where you’re going. The same is true of your vision of success.

But before you can begin moving forward, you must assess where you’re at now. This is a time for honest evaluation, not rose-colored glasses. Where are you currently successful? Where do you need to grow? What are your weaknesses and strengths? Try bringing in a friend or colleague to act as a real and unbiased sounding board.

After that, it’s time to set some specific goals. These goals should be achievable and concrete, but still challenging. Your goals should also be measurable. Say you want to read more to be successful; set a goal of 50 books per year, not just “read more.”

If you don’t define success, someone else will define it for you. What mountain are you climbing? Is it the right one? Or are you going to reach the summit and see your mountain off in the distance?

Start on the right path today.

Source: http://www.success.com/article/what-does-success-really-mean-to-you

4 Things to Remember When Doubters Tell You “You Can’t”

by Victor Ng

When you have a dream, you will have doubters. It’s right up there with death and taxes – probably because nobody has to pay taxes or die for doubting. These gleeful killjoys shoot us down before we take off. They say “you can’t” when we thought we can. They make us hesitant when we were sure, silly when we were smart.

External doubt feeds self-doubt; the number one dream-killer as shown in studies. Life and success aren’t about what happens to you, it’s about how you perceive and respond to what happens to you. And doubters happen. They happen fast and hard on your unsuspecting dream. Be ready for them. Better yet, benefit from them. Because, as unthinkable as that sounds, you can.

Here are four ways to give your dreams the benefit of the doubters:

1. Doubters actually care

Don’t hate on those who don’t believe in your dreams, because they might be the very people who love you. Oftentimes, it is those who are closest to us that have the loudest voice of discouragement. This could be your father, your partner, or your best friend.

Sometimes, even your dearest ones cannot see in you what you can see for yourself. They unwittingly project their own self-limitations on you to “protect” you from the pain of failure. A father who has failed in business may urge his entrepreneurial son to “be realistic” and get a “proper” job with a steady paycheck.

The good news is, they want you to succeed. This gives you a chance to turn them into staunch supporters after their initial resistance.

Stay true to your course while making allowance for their advice. Earn their approval and support by addressing their deepest fears about your endeavor. As you progress toward your goals, you’re helping them disprove their assumptions and undo their own limitations too.

“I tend to enjoy proving people wrong.” – Hayley Williams

2. Doubters show you where to improve

Put aside the apparent assault on your ego for a moment and consider what your critics are saying. If you can get over yourself, there’s a lot you can learn there. Take the criticism objectively. Try to find at least one valid point in what they’re saying.

For example, if a headhunter dismisses your aspiration to land a bigger job, she could be 99 percent wrong.The other one percent could be the nugget of insight that will help you. This may be a skill you need, a person whose connection you should make, or better timing to make your move.

The next time you hear others doubting you, find the sliver of truth in their words. Build that into your game plan. You’ll be better for it.

3. Doubters make the best motivation

In his Hall Of Fame speech, Michael Jordan thanked his detractors for the motivation. He credited them for being the driving force behind his legendary work ethic. Jordan was a fierce competitor. He hardly needed any push during his playing career. Yet he chose to turn his doubters into demons he had to slay to prove his greatness.

They were his best motivational buttons and he mashed those poor buttons like a teenager playing NBA2K. Be careful not to invest emotionally in the critics, for they will drain you. It doesn’t matter whether they were being personal or not, as long as you don’t take it personally. Don’t burn out trying to manage others’ opinions of you.

Know that your skeptics cannot define you, unless you allow them. Every action has an equal and opposite reaction. Turn their action into a positive, powerful reaction that works in your favor. The motivation to prove your critics wrong may be exactly what you need to push for greatness.

“When the doubters tell you it can’t be done and all kind of tragedies will come your way, I say nonsense. If you can get to the very root of who you are and make something happen from it, my sense tells me you are going to surprise yourself.” – Vidal Sassoon

4. Doubters can become powerful allies

Naysayers are oftentimes the byproduct of differences. People can harshly judge ideas or ambitions that are not in line with their own beliefs, opinions, or behavior.

If you can bridge the differences to create win-win relationships, skeptics can become strong allies. They’ve already proven they have a voice and they are willing to use it, only this time, in your favor.

In a team setting, you will have to use your communication and people skills to not just win the argument, but to win the sentiment. Sharing your vision and getting others to stand behind it isn’t always easy, but it’s always worth your effort. Creating advocates of your dream can only accelerate your success.

The bigger and more audacious your dream, the more naysayers you will experience. Be like Usain Bolt who said, “To all my doubters, thank you very much because you guys have also pushed me.”

Are you allowing the doubters to control your life? What are you going to do to change that? Leave your thoughts below!

Source: https://addicted2success.com/motivation/4-things-to-remember-when-doubters-tell-you-you-cant/