10 Ways Successful People Make Smart Decisions

Travis Bradberry

With so many decisions taking up each day, learning to make them effectively is essential to your success and happiness.

Great decisions don’t happen by accident. In this article, originally published on LinkedIn Pulse, Dr. Travis Bradberry shares a proven process we can all follow to improve the choices we make.

Your days are filled with a constant stream of decisions. A study from Columbia University found that we’re bogged down by a good 70 decisions a day.

Some decisions are minor, such as what to eat, which route to drive to work or in what order to tackle tasks. Others are more difficult, such as deciding between two job offers, whether to move to a new city for someone you love or whether to cut a toxic person out of your life.

With so many decisions taking up each day, learning to prioritize and make them effectively is essential to your success and happiness.

Although there are many strategies successful people use for effective decision-making, what follows are the cream of the crop.

1. They turn small decisions into routines.

Decision-making works like a muscle: As you use it over the course of the day, it gets too exhausted to function effectively. One of the best strategies successful people use to work around their decision fatigue is to eliminate smaller decisions by turning them into routines. Doing so frees up mental resources for more complex decisions.

Steve Jobs famously wore a black turtleneck to work every day. Mark Zuckerberg still dons a hoodie. Both men have stated that these iconic images are the simple result of daily routines intended to cut down on decision fatigue. They were both aware of our finite daily ability to make good decisions, as is Barack Obama, who said, “You'll see I wear only gray or blue suits. I’m trying to pare down decisions. I don’t want to make decisions about what I’m eating or wearing, because I have too many other decisions to make.”

2. They make big decisions in the morning.

Another great way to beat decision fatigue is to save small decisions for after work (when decision fatigue is greatest) and to tackle complex decisions in the morning, when your mind is fresh. When you’re facing a stream of important decisions, a great trick is to wake up early and work on your most complicated tasks before you get hit with a bunch of distracting minor decisions (phones ringing, emails coming in). A similar strategy is to do some of the smaller things the night before to get a head start on the next day. For instance, lay out your outfit at night so you don’t even have to think about it when you wake up.

3. They pay attention to their emotions.

There’s an old saying: “Don’t make permanent decisions based on temporary emotions,” and it definitely rings true. Successful people recognize and understand their emotions (including their intensity and impact on behavior) so that they are able to look at decisions as objectively and rationally as possible.

Unfortunately, most people aren’t good at managing or even recognizing their emotions. TalentSmart has tested more than a million people and found that only 36 percent of us are able to accurately identify our emotions as they happen. Strong decision-makers, on the other hand, know that a bad mood can make them lash out or stray from their moral compass just as easily as a good mood can make them overconfident and impulsive.

4. They evaluate their opinions objectively.

When really wrapped up in a decision, successful people weigh their options against a predetermined set of criteria because they know this makes decision-making easier and more effective. Here are some helpful criteria to consider:

• How does this decision benefit me?
• How does it hurt me?
• How does this benefit ___?
• How does it hurt ___?
• Would I regret making this decision?
• Would I regret not making this decision?
• Does this decision reflect my values?

5. They sleep on decisions.

Sleeping on your decision ensures you have clarity of thought when you approach it the next day. It also allows time for your emotions to run their course. When you act too quickly, you tend to react, but when you give more focus and time to your decision, you expose important facets of it that you didn’t see before.

6. They don’t wait too long, though.

Successful people know the importance of gathering as much information as they can, but at the same time, they make certain not to fall prey to analysis paralysis. Instead of waiting for the stars to align, successful people know that they need to have a timetable to follow in reaching their decision. Once they set that date, they are motivated to do their homework and some soul-searching in order to meet that deadline.

7. They use exercise to recharge.

The stress of a major decision naturally produces cortisol, the chemical that triggers the fight-or-flight response. Cortisol clouds your ability to think clearly and rationally. When you find yourself stressing about a decision, try exercising. As little as 30 minutes is all it takes to get a good endorphin-fueled buzz to return to mental clarity. Exercise also helps you get past that fight-or-flight state by putting the cortisol to practical use. Research shows that long-term exercise improves the overall functioning of the brain regions responsible for decision-making.

8. They always return to their moral compass.

Successful people know the importance of sticking to their morals when making an important decision. Morals serve as trusted guides when your emotions pull you in a different direction.

9. They seek outside counsel.

When approaching a decision, we have a natural tendency to pick an alternative and then gather information to support that decision, instead of gathering information and then choosing a side (this is called confirmation bias). A great way to beat confirmation bias is to seek outside opinions and advice from people who bring different perspectives to your situation. Their perspectives help you weigh your options more objectively and spot your subjective or irrational tendencies.

10. They reflect on previous decisions.

Mark Twain described the complicated nature of decision-making as follows: “Good decisions come from experience, but experience comes from making bad decisions.” This isn’t to say that the only way to become a great decision-maker is to make a ton of mistakes; it just means that it’s important to keep past decisions front of mind. Successful people are aware enough of past decisions to use them to their benefit when something similar comes up.

With repercussions that can last days, weeks and even years, making great decisions is an effort that’s worth every bit of your time and energy.

Source: https://www.success.com/article/10-ways-successful-people-make-smart-decisions

5 Things Not to Do Running a Small Business

Maria Rapetskaya

I've been a creative entrepreneur since 2005. My first design company was a partnership with my significant other. It was largely a freestyle experiment in running a business, conducted live over the course of five years. As a business, it was marginally successful. As a learning experience, it was my equivalent of a masters of business administration. 

So, by the time I had started my second and current company, I had a pretty good blueprint of don't's for running a small business. I had been fortunate enough to make the mistakes that have yielded five valuable lessons learned -- lessons that have truly paid off the second time around.

1. Don't rush into partnerships.

It was only after my original partner and I parted ways did I recognize that we should never have had a professional partnership in the first place. Just because someone is your best friend, long-time coworker and / or significant other hardly qualifies them as the perfect candidate for maintaining a business. I say “maintaining” because it’s far easier to get excited about the prospect starting a company than being able to handle the day-to-day reality of running it efficiently.

The best partner is typically someone whose skills and approach are the polar opposite of yours. The first ensures the you are able to cover a lot more ground without additional employees. The second may create conflict, but it'll force you both to defend your business instincts and weed out lesser ideas before you waste resources.

2. Don’t get discouraged.

Running a company isn’t a goal -- it’s a long, winding road. Enjoy the process! Unless your goal is to cash out, and you’ve got some built-in exit strategy, chances are you want a long-term entrepreneurial career. You will have ups, and you will have downs -- possibly in the same week or even day. You will gain amazing clients and lose others for reasons fair and unfair. That’s all part of having a business.

I’ve yet to encounter a single business owner who’s reached some grand, stable plateau beyond failure, disappointment and doubt. We all experience it. Instead of discouragement, focus on becoming more resilient, on learning how to handle stress productively.

3. Don’t forget why you wanted to start a business in the first place.

Whether it’s following a passion or having more control over your time to devote to family, always remember why you started down this road in the first place. It’s easy to get carried away and forget what it was you wanted from your own business. I, for example, was driven by quality-of-life factors, especially time off for my other passion -- travel. At times, temporary sacrifice may be truly necessary, but it pays to be conscious of when you’re in danger of permanently shelving the very thing you wanted most.

4. Don't try to do everything yourself.

I started my first company with $500 -- barely enough to cover the costs of incorporation. So, right away, I developed an addiction to doing everything myself. My partner was only capable, willing and able to do so much, and I found myself doing a lot of admin tasks I never anticipated. Those tasks came with learning curves, and they took up valuable time and energy -- energy that could have been directed at helping the business grow.

I didn’t make this mistake twice. With my second, far more successful attempt, I contracted my business half just a couple of months in. Although my expenses grew, now I could focus on doing better work as well as devote time to business development. Both actions helped to grow the company far quicker than my former money-saving attempts at being my own bookkeeper. 

So, resist the urge to cover all the ground alone. Saving financial resources is important, but don't let your task list undermine your big goals.

5. Don't stop evolving.

Your strategy, your marketing plan, your target market -- nothing is set in stone. The world is changing more and more rapidly each day. Your industry will likely experience a shift, whether slight or monumental, at some point. As a small business, you are at a disadvantage, because your resources are a lot more limited. But you have a priceless advantage in ability to change course and adapt far quicker than a larger organization.

The best way to remain relevant is keeping your eyes open for changing tides, your mind open to new ideas and staying flexible. 

And, of course, don't be too afraid of making your own mistakes!

Source:https://www.entrepreneur.com/article/253073

 

Rohn: How to Start a New Discipline

Success starts by becoming the master over the small details of our lives.

Jim Rohn

 

Everyone has a mental list of “I should have’s”:

I should have written to my mother this weekend.
I should have told her how much I really care long before now.
I should have called that creditor and told the truth last month.
I should have started working out years ago.

Any day we choose we can go to work on the basics—on any one of a host of small activities that will start the process of self-discipline. The joy that comes from this small achievement will start the miracle process.

The early inspiration that comes from the practice of new and simple disciplines will start a process called “soaring self-worth.” It does not matter how small or how insignificant the activity is because it is within those obscure but important disciplines that the great opportunities exist.

This kind of simple progress will build a ladder leading out of the abyss of failure and neglect that once was our dwelling place. With each new discipline we will have constructed a new rung that will enable us to climb out of darkness where the failures, the complainers, and the confused and misguided gather to share their sad stories of how unfair life is.

Building the ladder is easy to do.

The smallest of disciplines, practiced every day, start an incredible process that can change our lives forever.

Until we have learned to take care of the little opportunities life brings our way, we will never master the disciplines for becoming happy and prosperous. The major accomplishments in life begin with the mastery of the small disciplines. The mental, emotional and philosophical “muscles” required to write a letter, clean the garage or pay our bills on time are the very same “muscles” involved in running a company or managing a department. As a wise prophet has written: “Be not weary in well-doing, for in due season you shall reap if you faint not.”

We cannot rule the city until we can rule our spirit. We cannot rule the nation until we can rule ourselves. We cannot design our future until we have redesigned our habits. We cannot increase our rewards until we increase our level of intelligent activity.

The place to start is within ourselves through the development of new disciplines. That is where success really starts, by becoming the master over the small details of our lives. All of the great rewards in life are available to each of us, if we will discipline ourselves to walk through those early stages of growth without neglecting any of the disciplines. We must not permit any small activity to rob us of our future health and wealth and friendship and lifestyle. We cannot allow any error in judgment to delude us into thinking that “letting the little thing slide” would not make a major difference. We cannot say to ourselves, “This is only area where I am letting down on my self-discipline.” It is this “only area” that will start the process of erosion on all of our other disciplines.

One of the great challenges facing us all is disciplined activity. We must discipline ourselves to maintain a proper attitude, for we are surrounded by sources that can quickly erode the attitude we have worked so hard to develop. And we must discipline ourselves to convert dreams into plans, and plans into goals, and goals into those small daily activities that will lead us, one sure step at a time, toward a better future.

Finally, we must use the power of our imagination. We must ponder all that is possible. We must remind ourselves that to do what is possible we must sometimes challenge ourselves with the impossible. As an ancient warrior once wrote, “It is better to aim the spear at the moon and strike the eagle, than to aim at the eagle and strike only a rock.”

Planning, imagination and intense activity are awesome forces that have the power to dramatically change the quality of our lives.

Activity is a major part of the life puzzle. It is the power that gives substance and meaning to our philosophy and our attitude. Intelligent, planned, intense and consistent activity creates new energy and keeps us moving toward the exciting future that our thoughts and desires have already designed for us.

Source: https://www.success.com/article/rohn-how-to-start-a-new-discipline

7 Crucial Mindset Shifts to Achieve Everything You Want

Change is scary. Learn to embrace that fear and watch your dreams unfold.

Cristina Bold

When you decide to embrace a profound life change, it’s scary, because change is scary. But the only way to successfully deal with change is to master it, and once you do, launching your life forward will eventually come easily and naturally.

You can start with these seven mindset shifts:

1. Take time to define your vision and your passion.

There is no vision without seeing. So step out of your comfort zone. Experience, feel and taste what you are passionate about. Get out there and discover yourself, what you stand for and what you stand against. Then ask yourself what you want in life and why it’s important to you. Find what gets you fired up.

Your vision is about you and your desires, and it has to be complete, clear and brutally honest.

2. Become clear and very precise about what you want.

People are usually vague; they have only a pale vision of what they want. Try stopping and taking a break from the day-to-day race. Take a notebook, choose a quiet place and time, and write down what you specifically want to achieve and how you’ll know when you’ve achieved it.

Write down everything. Your brain will do what you want, but in order to get there, you need to be very specific about your mission. So start writing your dreams in full detail.

3. Continually reinforce your motivation.

Often you know precisely what you want, but after surfing the “go get it” wave for some time, you can start to lose momentum. That’s when you slow down and enter a slump. Sometimes you need to reach outside of yourself to pull the best out. Ask yourself: Who is impacted by my dream? Who stands to benefit from it?

Think of all your loved ones. How would they be influenced one year down the road after your dream is fulfilled? What about two years? You’re getting stronger, the benefits to your loved ones are growing and the impact on the community around you expands. Visualize how it all accumulates after five years. Ten years. Focus on that vision and feel the energy.

Return to this visualization exercise each time your motivation needs a boost.

4. Make a plan for achieving your dream and set a start date.

How will you get to your dream? What is the complete skills set you need? What new knowledge do you need to acquire? One of the simplest ways to create a roadmap for your journey toward your dream is to model the actions of the people who already succeeded what you wish to achieve.

Find those people. Interview them. Read about their journeys. Replicate their steps. Learn. When you start, you’ll hit the ground running.

5. Work on your beliefs.

Our beliefs are external (what we say aloud) and internal (what we feel deep in our hearts). The internal beliefs are the ones calling the shots about what you really feel about yourself, who you are and what you are capable of. Saying you’ll run a marathon when you don’t believe you’ll even be breathing after five miles is not a winning situation.

The good news is that beliefs can be rewritten through diligent internal work: meditations, daily affirmations, journaling, creative visualizations. Use whatever works for you.

Remember that beliefs drive perceptions, perceptions drive habits, and habits drive actions and success. You are who you think you are.

6. Embrace discipline.

If you want to master something, you have to work consistently and with discipline. That includes 1) consciously setting and following the daily habits we need to reach our goals, and 2) being keenly aware of distractions.

The habits you have right now are specifically geared to help you achieve everything you’ve already achieved. If you want something new, you have to change your habits. So what new habits can you set for yourself in the pursuit of your dream?

Discipline also means developing a distraction alarm. You need to be consistent not only in maintaining habits, but also in the conscious decision to achieve the right things and stay away from the unproductive ones. Multitasking is just a modern myth. The truth is that the most successful people are focused.

7. Decide each day to take three small steps toward your dream life.

By consistently making seemingly small actions, you plant seeds of achievement into your conscience. You start feeling the progress you’re making, and in time, these feelings grow into a belief and then into an attitude.

Before you know it, you’ll be flying toward your dream life.

Source: http://www.success.com/article/7-crucial-mindset-shifts-to-achieve-everything-you-want

5 Money Habits You Need to Adopt Today to Build Your Wealth

There is no single solution or way to become rich.

In all honesty there is no single solution or way to become rich. Many of us assume you just need to lock in a cushy job at an established company. Truth is, you need to develop certain habits around your money if you want to build wealth regardless of your paycheck (to an extent). If you become disciplined early on then you’ll give yourself a huge leg up when the real bucks start rolling in.

Here are five money habits you need to adopt today if you want to build wealth.

1. Don’t always pay for convenience

With technology at our fingertips that can deliver us a fully cooked meal or even an in-house massage, our generation has become accustomed to paying for convenience. Thing is, that convenience will always come at a hefty price. For example, if you’re a big coffee drinker you should buy whole coffee beans and make your own at home instead of going to Starbucks every morning. If you can create a budget and be disciplined about it you’ll be able to easily identify where you need to make cuts. Remember, every little bit counts.

2. Live below your means

You may equate fancy cars and big homes to success and happiness. Sometimes it’s true, however even some of the richest individuals in the world live modest lifestyles. Warren Buffett for example has lived in the same home since 1958 and drives a 2006 Cadillac. That’s pretty modest for a man worth over $70 billion.

Regardless of your income it’s always good to live below your means. You’d be surprised how many individuals may appear to be wealthy on the surface but have little saved up. It’s okay to buy yourself something nice once in a while but try to stay modest you’ll be happier (and wealthier) in the long run.

3. Avoid debt at all costs

If you want to build substantial wealth you need to do whatever it takes to avoid debt. Even if disaster strikes you should explore every other option before taking on debt. For example, try and borrow from friends or family if necessary you can even offer to pay them back with interest. The difference is your credit won’t be affected nor will the interest compound if you miss a payment.

I use my credit cards as a way to build credit rather than a means of borrowing money. I recommend setting up automatic payments on all your credit cards and be very diligent about making sure your pay-to account has enough funds.

4. Sell things you no longer need

Everyone has a little bit of “hoarder” in them. Especially in America individuals accumulate a ton of, for lack of better words, crap throughout their lives. Instead of letting all that stuff sit in your basement why not sell it? There are plenty of online marketplaces for used goods that make it a breeze to sell your unused items. In Steve Job’s words it’s always good to clear out the old to make way for the new.

5. Start a side hustle (or two)

Regardless how secure you think you are at your current job it’s always good to put a couple more irons in the fire. If you think you don’t have time then you aren’t spending your time wisely. There are plenty of ways you can start your side hustle. It doesn’t have to be a part-time job, rather a project that you can manage on the side of your full-time job. You can use affordable automation tools instead of doing all the legwork yourself. If you want to truly get ahead financially you need to have multiple sources of income. A side-hustle is a great place to start.

Final thoughts

Building sustainable wealth takes time. There is really no such thing as a “get rich quick scheme” and it requires much more than hard work. It requires smart and strategic work. Along with the five habits listed above you need to develop a plan that works well for you and your lifestyle. If you’re disciplined you’ll make your millions, I promise.

Source: https://www.entrepreneur.com/article/300829

7 Life Truths I Wish I Knew Sooner

Sara Fabian

 

We often talk about stepping into our true power, about building our confidence muscle and boosting our self-esteem. But although self-confidence and self-esteem seem similar—referring to how we feel about ourselves—they are two very different concepts.

Self-esteem refers to how we generally feel about ourselves: how much we like or love ourselves, and the overall image we have about who we are—positive or negative. It is shaped by our experiences and the environments we grow up in, by our family members, our school and our community. Self-confidence relates to how we feel about our abilities and how capable we see ourselves of doing certain things or handling different situations.

Most of us have been raised to focus on our weaknesses and perceived limitations, rather than our strengths. In some cases, we were taught to find ways to improve so that we could become “the best versions of ourselves.”

Take my home country, Romania, where, like in many other places, the schooling system was a fierce competition for the best grades and being first in class. I remember I was spending an average of 10 hours a day or more studying and doing homework; I hardly had time to play and relax. Teachers and parents always made comparisons between students and other kids, and individual talents were not truly encouraged.

I ended up struggling with serious self-esteem issues for many years. As a young woman, I didn’t see myself as beautiful enough, smart enough, good enough. I was constantly and desperately trying to be perfect.

And I was a master of giving—my care and my attention, my time and my energy. Putting my wants and needs first was uncomfortable and felt selfish. I was always striving to be the best friend I could be, the best daughter or the best employee. I wanted to please everyone so they would like me. I needed others to validate my worth.

We can only change the things we are aware of, the things we accept to be true.

We can only change the things we are aware of, the things we accept to be true. So it was only after I faced the truth and recognized my injured self-esteem that was I able to do some work and change it.

I made a list of things I liked about myself and promised myself to add one new thing every single day.

I looked back on my life and acknowledged all of my achievements, knowing they reflected hard work and effort. I made a list of personal skills and qualities I was proud of, giving myself credit for every small accomplishment in my daily life, instead of taking it for granted. It didn’t have to be big like saving someone from drowning. Being able to cook the best moussaka in the world was enough, and my list quickly grew.

I also wanted to discover and know myself, so I took various self-assessments, such as StrengthsFinder and MBTI. I found out that I am empathetic, intuitive, determined, ambitious, focused, hardworking and committed. I have a gift for working with people and being able to identify the strengths in others.

By doing all this, my self-confidence in my capability to do good things and leave a legacy in the world strengthened. I began to see myself in an entirely new light. And my self-esteem and the way I perceived myself improved, too.

Today I treat myself kindly. I have learned to love who I am with all my flaws and imperfections. I am aware of my strengths and talents, and, in the same way, I can see and appreciate the gifts in others.

Building a healthy self-esteem and gaining confidence in my ability to make meaningful choices has been an inside job and a very rewarding journey, and I’ve gained powerful insights along the way. Here is what I know to be true about life and myself.

1. Loving my whole self—mind, body and soul—is not selfish; it’s necessary for a healthy life.

To be able to love others, we need to keep our cup full.

2. Perfection is pure fiction.

I am grateful for all of my mistakes because they were real blessings in disguise that made me wiser. As John C. Maxwell says, “Sometimes we win, sometimes we learn. We never lose.” I stopped stressing myself out while trying to be perfect and I am always aiming for good enough.

3. I am not a victim.

My past has nothing to do with my future and my old limitations do not define who I am today. Blaming others for taking my time, money or love is unfair because I always choose how much I give and to whom. No one can hurt me or upset me without my consent. I am in charge of my actions and my future is the result of my current choices. The day I stopped blaming my past or other people, I set myself free.

4. Worrying about what others think is a waste of time.

I cannot please everyone, no matter how much I try. Whatever people think about me is their opinion, filtered through their lenses; it’s all about them and it has zero to do with me. I stopped trying to please others in the hopes that they would like me. I like myself as I am and I don’t need or expect other people to make me happy. My happiness is my responsibility and everything else is a bonus.

5. Saying no to things we don’t want to do is a learned practice of self-care. 

If it sounds like I should do, I don’t do it. I go for the things that feel like a want. My wants come from myself, instead of being imposed on me by others. I always choose how I am spending my precious time and with whom. My time means life and it’s never coming back.

6. Life doesn’t have to be a fight or an exhausting competition.

I stopped competing and comparing myself to others. Instead, I mind my own journey and I am happy for other people’s achievements. I choose to live in a state of love instead of fear and I believe in abundance. We live in a supportive universe, where there is enough of everything and for everyone.

7. Being authentic is a matter of choice.

I choose to stay true to who I am and what I believe to be right. It is my birthright to be happy and I have decided to live my own life with no apologies or regrets. I am whatever I choose to be, and my life is to be lived, not existed.

I have come to understand that in life, we don’t get what we want. We get what we think we deserve. That’s why believing in ourselves, seeing ourselves as enough and worthy of the best things life has to offer is necessary.

Source: http://www.success.com/blog/7-life-truths-i-wish-i-knew-sooner?utm_source=Facebook&utm_medium=Social&utm_campaign=Post

Rohn: How to Deal With the Negative Influences in Your Life

Your associations should move you forward, not impede your progress.

Jim Rohn

 

If you were to evaluate the major influences in your life that have shaped the kind of person you are, this has to be high on the list: the people and thoughts you choose to allow into your life. My mentor, Mr. Shoaff, gave me a very important warning in those early days that I’ll share with you. He said, “Never underestimate the power of influence.” Indeed, the influence of those around us is so powerful! Many times we don’t even realize we’re being strongly affected because influences generally develop over an extended period of time.

Peer pressure is an especially powerful force because it is so subtle. If you’re around people who spend all they make, chances are excellent you might spend all you make. If you are around people who don’t read, chances are excellent that you probably won’t read. People can keep nudging us off course a little at a time until, finally, we find ourselves asking, How did I get here? Those subtle influences need to be studied carefully if we really want our lives to turn out the way we’ve planned.

With regard to this important point, let me give you three key questions to ask yourself. They might help you better analyze your current associations.

1. Who am I around?

Make a mental note of the people with whom you most often associate. You’ve got to evaluate everyone who is able to influence you in any way.

2. What are these associations doing to me?

That’s a major question to ask. What have they got me doing? What have they got me listening to? What have they got me reading? Where have they got me going? What do they have me thinking? How have they got me talking? How have they got me feeling? What have they got me saying? You’ve got to make a serious study of how others influence you, both negatively and positively.

3. Is that OK?

Maybe everyone you associate with has been a positive, energizing influence. Then again, maybe there are some bad apples in the bunch. All I’m suggesting here is that you take a close and objective look. Everything is worth a second look, especially when it comes to the power of influence. Both will take you somewhere, but only one will take you in the direction you need to go.

It’s easy to just dismiss the things that influence our lives. One man says, “I live here, but I don’t think it matters. I’m around these people, but I don’t think it hurts.” I would take another look at that. Remember, everything matters! Sure, some things matter more than others, but everything amounts to something. You’ve got to keep checking to find out whether your associations are tipping the scales toward the positive or toward the negative. Ignorance is never the best policy. Finding out is the best policy.

It’s easy to let influence shape our lives, to let associations determine our direction, to let pressures overwhelm us and to let tides take us. The big question is: Are we letting ourselves become what we wish to become?

Here are three ways to handle associations or relationships that might be holding you back.

1. Disassociate.

This is not an easy decision, nor something you should take lightly, but in some cases it might be essential. You might just have to make the hard choice not to let certain negative influences affect you anymore. It could be a choice that preserves the quality of your life.

2. Limit the association.

Spend major time with major influences and minor time with minor influences. It is easy to do just the opposite, but don’t fall into that trap. Take a look at your priorities and your values. We have so little time at our disposal. Wouldn’t it make sense to invest it wisely?

3. Expand your associations.

This is the one I suggest you focus on the most. Find other successful people you can spend more time with. Invite them to lunch (pick up the tab) and ask them how they have achieved so much or what makes them successful. Now, this is not just about financial success; it can be someone you want to learn from about having a better marriage, being a better parent, having better health or a stronger spiritual life.

It is called association on purpose: getting around the right people by expanding your circle of influence.

Here are a few final thoughts on associations and influence:

When you succeed, you will create and attract more success around you. Success breeds success, so when you succeed, even at just a level above where you are right now, you will see that the people you associate with will also start becoming more successful themselves (which will also increase the level of your own associations!). That is one of the exciting byproducts of success.

Initiate relationships with people who are further ahead in personal and professional development than you are. There are so many successful people around you who can help you in so many ways! And if they are successful, they are busy! So, chances are, they are not going to initiate anything with you, but they will more than likely be willing to meet with you or invest in you if you initiate contact with them. Of course, some won’t, but that’s OK; just move on until you find someone who will. Meet with them, buy them lunch or coffee. Let your association with them help you. Learn from them. Watch them. Let their experience guide you. But remember, you will have to pursue them, not the other way around.

Have people around who you can rely on to speak the truth to you. We need people who will tell us the truth. Even if it is negative, given with a heart of concern, truth will still build us up and move us forward. We don’t just want people around us who will tell us only the good or what we want to hear. Growing in our personal and professional lives means we need to look at the whole picture and deal with both strengths and weaknesses. We need a good balance of people around us who can help us see all sides of an issue.

Carefully determine what will influence you. I use the word carefully because many people do not care about what they allow to influence them or who they associate with. And yet this is one of the biggest ways our lives are shaped. We need to be full of care when we are looking at who or what we allow into our lives and thus to shape and mold our lives. Look for people and information that will build you up and give you the next step you need to move forward in your journey.

Remember, your associations should move you forward, not impede your progress.

Source: http://snip.ly/jdv5y#http://www.success.com/article/rohn-how-to-deal-with-the-negative-influences-in-your-life