How To Socialize Like A Pro

• by Tim Denning  

It was late on Friday night.
I couldn’t really be bothered socializing
The energy wasn’t there, but I did it anyway.

Last time I went to this social event I hated it. It was full of pretentious ex-Harvard / Stanford snobs that loved to compare whose daddy had a better car. Inside, I was shaking my head the whole time. This time, though, it was different.

This time I met game changers who were doing seriously cool sh”t – cool because they were solving real problems. One thing I find hard to deal with is shallow conversations. There’s nothing better than going all in and going in deep.

Ok, don’t look at me like that.

If you want to socialize like a pro you’ve got to make an effort and think about what you’re doing. Here are a few hints to get you on the right path:

1. Don’t be scared to ask for a phone number

Never leave a place where you have connected with some interesting people you like, without doing this step: ask for a phone number. You’ve put all that work in and then to walk away and not continue the conversation would be a major loss.

Avoid trading social media details if you can because there is a good chance they may not respond when you reach out. SMS is near impossible to ignore and we all read them (let’s face it).

It’s like spending considerable time showing someone your business and then not asking if they would like to be a customer.

“Closing the deal is what all successful people do and do well. Have confidence in yourself and do the same”

2. Put your phone on flight mode

The quickest way to kill a socializing opportunity is with that damn phone you always have on you. Put it on flight mode so you can focus on the people you’re connecting with. The world is not going to end because you didn’t see a “like” or reply to a comment.

3. Introduce mutual connections

Meeting new people in a social context is one of the key skills in socializing like a pro. The fastest way to build rapport is to leverage the mutual connections you have in common with someone you have just met.

You can discover these mutual questions by having a friend introduce you to someone new, using social media, or by simply asking questions that reveal mutual connections.

There’s a reason that social platforms make the most of mutual connections and you should do the same when socializing.

4. Ask quality questions

The questions you ask will have a lot to do with your socializing success.

– Ask the questions everyone’s thinking, but too scared to ask
– Ask follow up questions to interesting answers
– Ask lots of questions

Be like a detective and go all in on your test subjects (the people you’re talking with). Find out what makes them tick and what get’s them out of bed in the morning. Here are some great questions to try:

– What’s the scariest thing you’ve ever done?
– Where was the coolest place you traveled to and why?
– Why did you choose that way of making a living?
– What are you most passionate about above everything else?
– Who’s one person that has taught you more than anyone excluding family?

5. Look people in the eye

What I realized I do a lot of is look people in the eye. Now I’ll admit that girls tell me I have very nice eyes, so my reason for doing this is to exploit this “so-called asset.” I don’t believe what these girls say about my eyes by the way so calm your horsey.

Looking people in the eye creates a connection and shows you’re truly interested in them. It’s a way to be completely, 100% vulnerable.

“When you look into someone’s eyes, you’re showing all of yourself. That’s what socializing is all about”

Don’t hold back and be prepared to go the extra mile. By looking at someone in the eyes, you can see their heart, passion and human nature. You can feel them in a totally different way.

6. Inspire

The way you talk to people in social situations matters. I find that by talking in a way that inspires, you bring people in. Make the people you’re chatting to believe that they can do what you have achieved or that there is another perspective about a topic that they may not have thought of.

Try to leave them with a lasting impression of you. Hear about what their goals are and then see if you can find a tool or strategy that they haven’t thought of to try. Then challenge them and inspire them to give it a go.

 

7. Talk about what you’re passionate about

There’s a lot of nonsense people talk about when socializing. Try to focus social situations around your passion and the passion of those you’re talking to. From this place, there’s always more to talk about. Your passion is what makes you light up and people remember that feeling.

Share some stories of things you’ve done which are related to your passion. The other people around you may have different passions, but that doesn’t mean you can’t relate to them through your own passion.

I’ve found, that when you find people who have similar passions, the conversation becomes addictive. It’s those social moments that make all the energy and effort worth it.

When you find a conversation like this that has all of those ingredients, stick around for a while. Don’t feel like you have to talk with everyone in the room.

8. Be humble

We’ve all achieved a hell of a lot in our own little worlds. We all think we’ve got some awesome story that will blow people away and impress them. Reframe from thinking like that. If you’re intent is to get people to like you, they’ll run the other way.

The key is to be you and be gracious. Talk about what you’re good at, but don’t go over the top. The same goes in the other direction. Make sure you’re not afraid to talk about things people might like about you. Just don’t do it like a wanker. There’s a subtle difference between the two.

What else do these tips apply to?

These are the same tips for dating. That’s not the intent of this post, but I thought I should point it out. You can also use these same tips in a job interview to get yourself ahead of the game.

Source: https://addicted2success.com/success-advice/how-to-socialize-like-a-pro/

Paulo Coelho’s 4 Tips for Becoming Wildly Successful in Life

• by Josue Valles - 

If you ever wished you could peer inside the mind of one of the most intriguing icons in the world and find out exactly what makes them successful, here’s your chance. Paulo Coelho has written some of the most popular and inspiring novels of the 21st century, touching the hearts of more than 100 million people in 56 different countries.

The Alchemist — Coelho’s most famous novel — has sold over 150 million copies, becoming one of the history’s best-selling books and setting the Guinness World Record for most translated book by a living author. With these facts in mind, it’s clear that Coelho knows a few things about success.

Here are Paulo Coelho’s 4 tips for becoming wildly successful in life:

1. Remember your dreams and fight for them

According to Coelho, successful people must overcome fear and follow their dreams. When referring to the fear of failure, Coelho adds, “Tell your heart that the fear of suffering is worse than the suffering itself. And no heart has ever suffered when it goes in search of its dream.”

When I was in high-school, I dreamed of becoming a professional skateboarder; I genuinely loved that sport. I remember waking up every day with excitement, waiting for the moment I could get on my skateboard and feel the wheels under my feet and the air brushing my hair, but my dad massacred that dream without prejudice.

If I remember well, he said: “Only 1% of skateboarders are lucky enough to make a living from skateboarding, and you aren’t that lucky. Better get yourself a college degree and do something with your life.”

Sadly, I believed my dad’s words. I was so afraid of failing or disappointing my parents, that I quit my dream. I listened to my inner demons instead of my heart, which was a costly mistake. To be fair, I don’t know for sure whether or not I could have been a professional skateboarder, but it’s something I’ll never know.

The bottom line? When fear seizes your soul, and you think you’re not good enough, when no one else believes in you, remember your dreams and fight for them. You have what it takes to handle whatever life throws at you.

“Everyone seems to have a clear idea of how other people should lead their lives, but none about his or her own.” – Paulo Coelho

2. You drown not by falling into a river, but by staying submerged in it

If you can know only one thing about Coelho, it should be that he never regrets for the “wrong” decisions he made or the painful times he went through. He says: “I don’t regret my painful times, I bare my scars as if they were medals. I know that freedom has a high price, as high as that of slavery; the only difference is that you pay with pleasure and a smile, even when that smile dimmed by tears.”

This is a crucial life lesson. Like Coelho, I  believe that we learn more from our failures than from our successes. So the next time you bring back one of those unpleasant memories, rather than feeling sad, try to dig out a good lesson from that experience and move on.

Many of us spend our lives feeling guilty and regretting what we did (or did not) in the past instead of focusing on the things we can do right now. That’s a huge waste of time. Let the past stay in the past, and remember that you drown not by falling into a river, but by staying submerged in it.

3. Don’t be intimidated by other people’s opinion

So we know that successful people always follow their dreams, right? And if you follow a dream, you need to have a willingness to endure the criticism and rejection, especially when it comes from people you care about. It’s staggering how many of us will give up on a dream just because someone tells us we can’t. The truth is until you follow your heart instead of other people’s opinions, you’ll never get ahead in life.

Now, don’t get me wrong. I’m not saying you should be rude or disrespectful to others, but there’s a fine line between constructive criticism and just criticism. The key lies in differentiating both.

“People are capable, at any time in their lives, of doing what they dream of.” – Paulo Coelho

4. Be brave. Take risks. Nothing can substitute experience

I love this quote from Coelho: “You have to take risks. We will only understand the miracle of life fully when we allow the unexpected to happen.”

The primary reason most people fail in life is not a lack of talent or opportunities or education, but a refusal to move from their comfort zone and take significant risks. They aren’t brave enough to challenge their boss and ask for a raise, or to quit their job to start a business, or to follow a wild dream. They’re asleep, while their life is passing them by.

But you’re going to be different, right? You’re going to be brave. You’re going to take risks. You’re going to commit to fighting for your dreams and never give up. Because it’s the only way to witnessing the miracle of life.

Have you read ‘The Alchemist’ or any of Paulo Coelho’s books? What did you think? Please leave your thoughts below!

Source: https://addicted2success.com/life/paulo-coelhos-4-tips-for-becoming-wildly-successful-in-life/

23 Rare Motivational Quotes That Will Knock Your Block Off!

• by Joel Brown - 

23 Rare Motivational Quotes to inspire the lazy, complainers, procrastinators and the ‘all talk, no walk’ people out there.

Everybody needs a little motivation sometimes so share these around and take ACTION! In your life right now, execute that plan you have been talking about all week. It’s never too late to make it happen!

Rare Motivational Quotes

‎”It’s always down to you and the choices you make. Work on the things you can change and never dwell on the things you can’t. You choose… ‘results’ or ‘excuses’ it’s always down to YOU… no one has ever given their BEST and regretted it. GO HARD NO EXCUSES.”

“No one said this would be easy, just know that nothing beats the feeling of accomplishment.”

‎”Turn those dreams into ACTION …action turns into results… sooner or later you will be living the dream.”

“There’s no substitute for consistency.”

‎”Once you learn to quit, it becomes a habit…. KEEP GOING!!”

“Hard Work can out-do genetics!!”

“Whatever doesn’t kill me… had better start running”

‎”Our fears don’t stop death,… they stop life.”

“Do it now. Sometimes ‘later’ becomes ‘never.'”

“Kick yourself in the ass, or someone else will.”

“The pain of discipline is far less than the pain of regret.”

‎”I’m not telling you it’s going to be easy… I’m telling you it’s going to be worth it.”

“Tears will get you sympathy, sweat will get you results.”

“Dear tomorrow, do whatever you wanna do .. I have already lived my today and I am not afraid of you anymore .”

“If we understood the power of our thoughts, we would guard them more closely. If we understood the power of our words, we would prefer silence to anything negative. In our thoughts and words we create our own weaknesses and strengths. Our limitations begin in our hearts where we can always replace negative with positive.”

“You can have results or excuses. Not both”

“You will never know your limits until you push yourself to them.”

“Pain is just weakness leaving your body.”

“I was not delivered into this world in defeat nor does failure flow through my veins. I am not a sheep waiting to be prodded by my shepherd. I am a lion and I refuse to talk, walk, to merge with the sheep. I will not hear those who weep and complain for their thoughts are contagious. Let them join the sheep. The slaughterhouse of failure…Is not my destiny.”

‎”Good things come to those who wait… greater things come to those who are willing to work for it”

“Set small goals for yourself and meet them. You are responsible to take care of yourself. You should be your priority!!”

‎”If we’re growing, we’re always going to be out of our comfort zone…deal with it!!”

“Failure does not mean defeat; to succeed you must fail first.”

Source: https://addicted2success.com/motivation/23-rare-motivational-quotes-that-will-knock-your-block-off/

Why You Shouldn’t Be Afraid of Failure

Craig Impelman

 

The third block in the second tier of Coach Wooden’s Pyramid of Success is Initiative. He chose to direct his definition of this trait at the individual by urging him or her to “cultivate the ability to make decisions and think alone. Do not be afraid of failure, but learn from it.”

Coach Wooden’s college coach at Purdue, Piggy Lambert, once inspired Coach with these words: “The team that makes the most mistakes usually wins.” He was emphasizing that it is the doers who make mistakes. This was an important lesson in shaping Coach Wooden’s teaching philosophy.

Coach wanted mistakes of commission, not of omission or of carelessness. In other words, he wanted his team to be made up of doers. “We must not be afraid to act,” he said. “If we are afraid to do something for fear of making a mistake, we will not do anything at all. That is the worst mistake of all. You learn through adversity. We get stronger through adversity.” Coach firmly believed that if you were not making any mistakes, you were not working close enough to the edge of your potential.

One of Coach’s favorite poems was a short verse that embraced exactly this concept:

When I look back, it seems to me,
That all the grief that had to be,
Left me when the pain was o’er,
Stronger than I was before.

Coach Wooden once described the needed behaviors and character traits of a great leader as the same behaviors and character traits of a great parent. “We must not be afraid to fail,” he insisted. “We, as parents, I think, deprive our children, the ones we love the most and want to help the most, of the development of initiative by making decisions for them too long in certain areas…. Lincoln said: ‘The worst thing a parent could do for his children is doing things that they could and should do for themselves.’ Give them the opportunity to fail. Let them learn from it so that they won’t make that same mistake again when you are not there telling them what or what not to do. Initiative will help us overcome many stumbling blocks.”

The same lesson is, of course, applicable to a teacher or coach or mentor—anyone in a position of leadership. Coach often reminded us that if we make a decision based on careful planning while using all the information available to us at the time and act with self-control, but it doesn't lead to the results we’d hoped for, that doesn’t mean we made a bad decision. It just means it’s a decision that didn’t work out. The result should not discourage us from taking initiative in the future.

Be a doer. Take initiative. Never be afraid to make a mistake.

In my 30 years of working with Coach Wooden in my basketball camps, the most proactive request that I received from parents was, “Please help my child to stop being afraid of making a mistake.” I loved hearing that because it meant that the parents recognized the profound importance of teaching initiative from an early age.

The two Wooden fundamentals that Coach stressed to eliminate this fear of failure are:

1. “The people that don’t make mistakes are the people that don’t do anything.”
2. “The worst thing you can do when action is needed is to take no action at all.”

Be a doer! Take initiative! Never be afraid to make a mistake! As Coach Wooden loved to say, “A mistake is valuable if you do four things with it: recognize it, admit it, learn from it, forget it.”

Source:http://www.success.com/blog/why-you-shouldnt-be-afraid-of-failure?utm_source=Facebook&utm_medium=Social&utm_campaign=Post

5 Stepping Stones to Overcome the Fear of Success

by Karen Dikson 

You’ve always been dreaming about success. Now, it’s time for that big question: did you achieve it? How did you imagine this very moment ten years ago? You had goals and desires, where are you now?

If you feel like you haven’t tried enough, you have a problem that’s common for many people. It’s called the comfort zone. That’s a nice way to say that you’re actually afraid of success.

At my first job, we were supposed to give a presentation on a very important project. I was working on it for months. I knew I had something exceptional, but the presentation itself freaked me out. Do you know what I did? I didn’t show up.

I decided to delegate the presentation to my colleague. The mere fact of being the center of attention freaked me out, so I avoided that scene even though it led me to failure.

Why do we do that? Why is success so overwhelming to us?

• We’re always afraid of the things unknown. Since we can’t really tell where success will take us, it’s easier for us to stay in the comfort zone.
• People might be jealous of our success. We care about what other people think of us, so we’re afraid that our journey to stardom will ruin the relations we maintain.
• Where there’s potential for success, there’s potential for failure, too. Sometimes we’re so afraid of failure that we don’t bother succeeding at all. That’s what happened when I didn’t show up to give that presentation at college.
• Success demands hard work. It puts us in direct competition with ourselves. That’s another thing we tend to be afraid of: hard work.
• Some people are afraid of success because they think they don’t deserve it. They believe they don’t have strength to carry the burden of success.

Is there a way to overcome this fear? There is. In fact, there’s no other way. Life was meant for going forward. Staying in your current zone is not an option.

“Succeed in not fearing the lion and the lion will fear you.” – Eliphas Levi

Here are the 5 stepping stones to overcome the fear of success:

1. Recognize the importance of success

Everything starts with recognition. What does success mean to you? The answer is very subjective. For some people, success means making more money. For others, it means making enough money to get a house on the beach and a Mercedes Benz. For some people, success is related to professional or personal growth goals.

What does success mean to you? Define it. Be very precise with it. Take a deep breath, clear your mind, and imagine: where do you want to be 10 years from today? What would the ideal situation be? What failures would you regret?

Start from the now and set smaller goals that will lead you to that big goal of success. Believe in yourself. It’s possible! It’s important.

2. Recognize the fear

Fear is a sneaky thing, especially when it comes to this kind of fear that prevents us from doing our best. What fears are related to the goal you envisioned in the previous step? What exactly prevents you from achieving it? Why are you afraid?

Is it the risk? The overwhelming competition? The sacrifices you have to make? Fear of failure and disappointment? Fear of hard work? When you recognize the mental obstacles, you’ll know what to work on.

3. Be aware of the outcome

What will happen once you achieve the ultimate goal of success? How will your life look at that point? Visualize! It will take a bit of focus for you to get a clear vision, but you’ll soon be aware of all possible outcomes.

Write down what you see. There may be negative outcomes, such as a lot of work and less free time for vacations. However, you’ll also see the most positive outcome: accomplishment. When you weigh both sides, you’ll see what wins. You’ll realize that success is worth the risk. It’s worth fighting for.

“What would life be if we had no courage to attempt anything?” – Vincent van Gogh

4. Create a long term plan

If you keep your vision for success in the limits of your imagination, it will still be scary for you. It will be overwhelming, since you’ll lack the realistic plan that can lead you to it.

When you translate that vision into a long-term plan of clear steps to success, it will seem possible. This is the right approach to have: take that big goal and break it down into smaller, achievable steps. Then, translate those steps into daily actions and start doing something towards that goal every single day.

When you’re that committed, the goal will become part of your life. As it turns into a habit, it will become your new comfort zone. All fears will slowly go away.

5. Don’t obsess over the results

When you’re obsessing over the end result, you become anxious. That anxiety leads to suspicion: “will I ever make it?” That suspicion will lead to more fear. You need a different focus; the journey itself. Be aware of the small, but important progress you’re making every day. Congratulate yourself for it. Do your work and stay focused. The results will come!

Source: https://addicted2success.com/success-advice/5-stepping-stones-to-overcome-the-fear-of-success/

6 Ways To Train Your Brain To Stay Positive

BY KATHERINE HURST

You’re undoubtedly familiar with the idea that it’s important to stay positive. Studies consistently show that having a more optimistic mindset improves both physical and mental health, and positivity boosts your internal vibration so you’re more capable of manifesting the thing you want.

But it’s not always so easy to stay positive, when you encounter unexpected challenges or negative people—that’s why you need smart ways to train your brain to stay positive.

Try these 6 ideas to get started… 

1. Subconscious Retraining

Firstly, it’s worth learning more about the best modern techniques for uncovering and releasing the negativity you’re holding inside. Past experiences—especially those from childhood—can be held in the mind and body for decades, dragging you down and inhibiting your potential.

Exercises like tapping and neuro-linguistic programming can help you access these parts of yourself, and build a more supportive and affirming belief system (creating and reinforcing new synapses, especially in your prefrontal cortex).

Some people also find hypnotherapy plays a similar role. You can experiment with multiple approaches, but the key message here is that creating and maintaining a truly positive perspective often starts with facing and letting go of long-term wounds.

2. Give Positivity To Feel Positivity

There’s strong evidence that acts of kindness don’t just make others happy—they make you feel good as well. Even just taking a moment to do someone a small favor or help a stranger can put you in a better frame of mind, and break you out of a negative thinking loop.

If you get into a habit of doing something compassionate for another person every time you’re feeling down, anxious or hopeless, it’ll soon become automatic and your negative periods will last for increasingly shorter times.

3. Focus On What Makes You Happy To Be Alive

One of the best ways to train your brain to stay positive is to deliberately and repeatedly turn your attention to things that inspire joy. It’s a good idea to dedicate a specific notebook to this pursuit, and use it to record 5 such things each morning.

Try to think of different categories as you do this, such as interactions that make you happy, elements of the world around you that you find inspiring, and aspects of yourself that make you feel proud and confident. Whenever your thoughts are focused on joy, you’ll strengthen the associated neural pathways in your brain and will find more to be joyful about as a result.

4. Look After Your Body

All of our best research shows that what you eat and drink can have a huge influence on your emotional state, as can your approach to sleep and the exercise. So, if you want to be a better positive thinker, take an honest critical look at how you treat your body and identify potential areas for improvement.

Diet is a big factor here—are you getting all the right minerals, vitamins and nutrients? Could you vary your food intake to support better health? There are established links between vitamin deficiencies and issues like depression and anxiety.

Meanwhile, not regularly getting 8 hours a sleep a night increases negative thinking and anger. As you treat the physical parts of you with more care, the mental and emotional parts of you will respond in kind.

5. Set Aside Specific Time For What You Love

With all of our work and social commitments, it’s easy to say we don’t have time for the things we love. However, without making the space in our life for our biggest passions, we easily become despondent and negative.

Take an active role in maintaining boundaries that allow you to pursue these important passions, perhaps by setting aside an hour a day that won’t be interrupted by any other obligations. If you have to say no to other commitments to maintain this aspect of your life, then do it! You’ll be glad you did.

6. Flip Negatives Into Positives

Finally, with a little effort you can retrain your brain to automatically see the bright side of any situation—no matter how difficult. You’ll need to do this deliberately at first, consciously challenging yourself to see what’s good about a tough experience.

For example, when something doesn’t work out for you, it’s often because the Universe has something better in store—something more fitting with your overall purpose. Try to find a specific thing you can learn, rather than viewing yourself as a failure.

In addition, try to turn setbacks into opportunities. If you don’t get called for a job interview or a second date, ask yourself what you can use the extra time to accomplish. In time, your brain will start doing this immediately, without being prompted, and your positive neural wiring will attract more and more positivity into your life.

Source: http://www.thelawofattraction.com/6-ways-train-brain-stay-positive/?utm_source&utm_medium&utm_campaign&utm_content=6-ways-train-brain-stay-positive